


A New Guardian Angel

by tylerscreamingintothevoid



Series: AFTG Bingo - Jerejean card [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Bisexual Kevin Day, Bisexual everyone though, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Helping out at a Youth Center, Jealousy, Jeremy Knox turns Jean gay, M/M, One Shot, Scars, Slow Burn, domestic-ish, good with kids, jealous jean, softies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 16:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16496015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylerscreamingintothevoid/pseuds/tylerscreamingintothevoid
Summary: From where Jeremy sat, he could see the flat planes of the man's back, but he could also see the silver and red mottled scars that were scattered across it, brutal and only reasonably old. Jean didn't seem to see him as he bent over to grab a clean shirt, and Jeremy saw different scars on his thighs, clustered, small and straight.Jeremy knew that Jean had had a rough time with the Ravens, but...He shifted awkwardly before tugging his own shirt off. He'd never seen the man so raw, so real. It made him nervous. He thought that maybe Jean would prefer if he just slipped past- if he pretended he hadn't seen a thing. He tugged off his sweats and made to creep around the bigger man, using the lingering steam to his advantage. Regardless of his pitiful efforts, Jean heard him pass by."Who's there?"(Bingo Prompt - Jealousy)





	A New Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> incest supports, don't interact

Jeremy Knox didn't tire easily.   
  
Sure, he got sleepy, he got hungry. He was human. But when it came to endurance- pure, raw, endurance- he was an  _ animal _ .   
  
He wiped the sweat off his brow with the hem of his shirt, stretching out his arms as he trudged across the gym. Adidas drenched with sweat all down his back, panting and breathless, Jeremy Knox was exhausted.   
  
He jogged down the stairs, finishing up with a few more stretches before heading to the changing rooms. Steam from the showers fogged up the mostly abandoned room. Lovely, some privacy. The Trojans usually got changed together, showered together, in sync like a well kept machine. Knox however valued his time alone, and sat himself down on a bench, leaning against the lockers.   
  
Lord above, did that boy want to go to sleep.   
  
The shower cut off, and he heard some movement before the door opened, Jean stepping out wearing only boxers, his towel in hand. Jean usually hung back behind the team to shower with some privacy, since he hadn't been given the luxury in the Nest. He was usually left alone to do it, so he didn't think much of not getting fully dressed as he made his way to his locker again.    
  
From where Jeremy sat, he could see the flat planes of the man's back, but he could also see the silver and red mottled scars that were scattered across it, brutal and only reasonably old. Jean didn't seem to see him as he bent over to grab a clean shirt, and Jeremy saw different scars on his thighs, clustered, small and straight- almost like a razor blade had created them.   
  
Jeremy knew that Jean had had a rough time with the Ravens, but...   
  
He shifted awkwardly before tugging his own shirt off. He'd never seen the man so raw, so real. It made him nervous. He thought that maybe Jean would prefer if he just slipped past- if he pretended he hadn't seen a thing. He tugged off his sweats and made to creep around the bigger man, using the lingering steam to his advantage. Regardless of his pitiful efforts, Jean heard him pass by.    
  
"Who's there?"   
  
Jeremy gulped, and scratched at his stomach.  _ It's fine, he's nice, he's a good guy, Jeremy. But God is he scary. _   
  
Eventually, he chirped something out. "Just me."   
  
Jean turned around, and Jeremy couldn't help but notice that his chest and abs matched his back, some particularly nasty scars marring his abs. Scary as he was, the man looked scared as he hugged the shirt against his torso. "I thought that all of the team were gone."   
  
Jeremy resisted the urge to shudder. "They are. It's- it's just me, like I said. I stayed a little longer. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"   
  
Jean ground his teeth together, an action that Jeremy recognised as a nervous tick now, and he crossed his arms over his chest. "It is... fine." He seemed to notice how uncomfortable Jeremy was, misreading it as concern about his playing ability. "They have no effect on my fitness, so it is not a problem."   
  
"I didn't think they did! Of course it's not a problem, Jean." Jeremy chewed on his bottom lip, scratching nervously at his stomach again. "You don't need to hide them, it's alright. You're safe. I'm not judging you or nothin'."   
  
He thought it best to be candid with the man.

  
Jean frowned, and then slowly lowered the shirt, exposing his torso again. "Alright."   
  
He got his water bottle instead, taking a drink as he put his sweaty gear into a laundry bag. It gave Jeremy a chance to look at him again. Jeremy turned the taps on the shower and glanced over him again, furrowing his brow even further, if possible. Jean got dressed after that, putting on his shoes by the time Jeremy re-emerged from the shower.

"Hey, Jean..."   
  
"Jeremy." Jean nodded to him and continued to lace up his shoes. "I apologise for being awkward."   
  
Jeremy tightened the towel around his waist. "It's okay, I just wanted to ask if you needed help with anything. Settling in, how you're doing..."   
  
"I like being here, with the Trojans." Jean stood up, rolling his neck and stretching his back out. "It is hard to adjust, but I am managing."   
  
Jeremy had heard Jean waking up in the middle of the night, most nights. He had no idea how the man was still going.   
  
"And your roommate? Is he okay?” Jeremy didn't want to probe, but he wanted Jean to be okay.   
  
"He is... friendly." Jean shifted uncomfortably. "He means well."   
  
"Right." Jeremy nodded slowly. "I'm sorry about... well, Edgar Allen, and whatever happened...'   
  
"It is in the past, now. Riko is dead and the Ravens are weakened." Jean's voice was blunt and cold, it sent a shiver up Jeremy's spine.   
  
Jeremy reached out to his kit bag, pulling a fresh pastel blue t-shirt. "Well... maybe, you could stay in my dorm, if you'd be more comfortable there."   
  
He was slightly terrified of Jean. So why the  _ hell _ was he inviting him to stay in his room?   
  
"You would allow me to stay in your dorm." Jean raised an eyebrow and shifted his arms, still crossed. "I make you nervous. Why would you do that?"   
  
"You don't make me nervous!" Jeremy squeaked out.   
  
Jean clearly didn't believe him. "I am not an ideal roommate."   
  
"Neither am I! I'm messy, I leave my wrappings everywhere..."   
  
Jean chuckled, barely a laugh but the most Jeremy had seen from the man since he had arrived.    
  
It was a nice sound.   
  
"I wake up during the night. You might not sleep well." Jean looked confused, but less sad than usual, which was an endearing mix. "You... really don't mind."   
  
Part of Jeremy minded. Part of him was nervous, scared. But Jeremy was more worried about the boy. And his priority was his team, especially a sweet guy like Jean. "No."   
  
Jean swallowed, conflicted. "Then... okay. I would be more comfortable with you."   
  
"Cool. I'll try to get it ready for you by tonight, then, Moreau!"   
  
Jean nodded and then averted his gaze, not wanting to stare. "Thank you, Jeremy."   
  
"Course."   
  
Jeremy held his hand out for a handshake. The man took his hand and shook it firmly. He squeezed, and went off to get dressed.   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
Living with Jean was like living alone. The boy made barely any noise, left practically no mess, and hadn't even properly unpacked yet. Jeremy figured that Jean thought he would kick him out, and that there was no point in getting settled then. Moreau couldn't be more wrong- most of all, Jeremy wanted to understand the boy, get to know him better.

The night terrors gave some insight. It was the loudest Jean ever got- shouting and crying in his sleep, thrashing about until Jeremy had to bring him to the bathroom and splash water in his face, bring him back to the present.   
  
But Jean never wanted to share.   
  
And one morning, after a good sleep with no night terrors, Jeremy woke up and woke up to an empty bed. Jean was sitting at the table, a mug of coffee in his hands. "A problem shared is a problem halved, Moreau." Jean barely managed to look up, noticeably wincing. Jeremy gave a sympathetic smile. "How many hours did you get last night?"   
  
Jean stared down at this coffee before swirling it gently. "Four."   
  
"Is there anything I can do?"   
  
The answer was always no, but Jeremy asked anyway in hopes that this morning might be the morning that answer would change. Jean seemed to struggle for words for a second. "I'm... finding it hard to adjust."   
  
"To Trojans, or to me?"   
  
"Yes." He groaned and then took a sip. "It's hard to be comfortable, I was never comfortable at the Nest."   
  
Jeremy shuddered. "It certainly doesn't sound that way, especially when you're having nightmares..."   
  
"I apologise for waking you, Jeremy."   
  
"It's not about me! Don't worry about me man, okay?" Jeremy sat down across from Jean. His oversized tank top hung low on his chest, his jaw was littered with unshaven stubble. "I'm here for you."   
  
"Why? I'm just a backliner, you have others.”   
  
"My others didn't use to be on the Ravens. They didn't use to be with Riko."   
_  
_ _ With Riko. _ _  
_   
The association bit at him.  _ He used to be with Riko. _   
  
Jean flinched and then shook his head. "Still."   
  
"I don't exactly fit in with your team."   
  
"Okay, well, so the team was thinking, to celebrate our last win, after training on Friday we'd all go bowling and grab some pizza. I'll tell them the plans are a go if you come with us."   
Jean hadn't been on the team for that match. He hadn't even seen it. He told him as much and then raised an eyebrow. "I didn't earn it."   
  
Jeremy played with a curl in his hair. It had all mussed to one side, the red tints uneven. "I want you there, though. It wouldn't feel right without you."   
  
Jean looked so confused, it was a little heartbreaking. "You want me there?"   
  
Jeremy gave a smile, the gap in his two front teeth big and on show. "I do."   
  
".... Okay, then." He nodded slowly. "I'll go with you."   
  
"Whoa, really?"   
  
"Yes, if you're sure."   
  
Jeremy winked. "Alright then, get showered and get dressed, we're gonna go for a jog."   
  
Jean instantly looked more comfortable and he got up to get ready. He knew how to train, it was all he'd ever known.   
  
"Sounds good."   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
"Holy shit, Jean?" 

The Trojans had settled themselves around the bar, and it seemed that they had saved Jeremy a seat at a table with Laila and Sara. They hadn't saved one for him, though. 

"We had no idea you were coming!"   
  
Laila glared at Jeremy, who reddened, and then she pulled up another seat. "You can sit with  _ us _ !"    
  
Jean nodded and then sat down carefully. "Thank you."   
  
Jeremy took a seat leaned across the table. "Hey guys. Bowling after, right? Laila, are you drinking? We've got a game tomorrow!"   
  
He settled in nicely with them, and Jean crossed his arms uncomfortably. Laila gave him the middle finger and then finished her drink. "Sorry, mom." She rolled her eyes and then smiled at Jean. "I'm really glad you decided to come out with us, Jean."   
  
Jean nodded and then smiled stiffly. "It's really nice to see you actually having  _ fun _ ," said Sara, unintentionally sounding sarcastic. Laila nudged her under the table, but Jean saw that too.   
  
He glanced between them and then nodded. "It's not a habit of mine, but Jeremy said I should come."   
  
Jeremy stopped his face from tensing nervously at the situation. He really didn't want Jean to have a bad time. "I hope you have a great night, Jean. What's your favourite pizza?"   
  
"I've never had it." He shrugged. "Whatever you like is fine. I trust your judgement."   
  
"They never let you out at Edgar Allen?" Sara kicked Laila under the table, this time.   
  
Jean blinked, and then scratched at his neck uncomfortably. "No, they didn't. We couldn't eat anything that would ruin our diet."   
  
"Oh. Right, sorry. So you'd never tasted it even before-"   
  
Jeremy cleared his throat. "I like pineapple. On pizza, that is."   
  
Jean looked at him, and then relaxed a little. "Pineapple? I'd like to try that."   
  
"Yeah, pineapple and ham. Some people don't like it, but I think you might!"   
  
Laila chuckled. "You're disgusting, Jere."   
  
Jean shook his head. "It doesn't sound disgusting to me."   
  
Sara raised an eyebrow, and then nudged Laila under the table with a grin.   
  
Jeremy went a pink. "Oh... shush. Where's the rest of the team, I wanna say a quick hello before we all get to the bowling alley!"   
  
Laila pointed over to the others and then laughed. "Go be sociable, cap."   
  
Jeremy gave Jean a pat on the shoulder, the boy going red and looking up at him as he left. Jean shifted in his seat, and then poured himself some water. Sara cleared her throat. "So, Jean, you and Jeremy seem pretty friendly?"   
  
"Well, he's letting me room with him, because I was disrupting the sleep pattern of my roommate. It's very kind of him to put up with me, really."   
  
"I'm sure he doesn't mind!" Sara laughed and Laila elbowed her again.   
  
"Yeah, he seems to have taken a real liking to you, Jean."   
  
"I'm just on his team. He's probably uncomfortable around me, since I used to be a Raven." Jean's eyes darted away from the girls. It felt like they were mocking him.   
  
"Jeremy? Nah. He was so excited to have you on the team!"   
  
"Perhaps. Maybe." Jean sighed. "I feel I am burdening him."   
  
Laila frowned slightly. "You're not a burden, Jean."   
  
"Sure."   
  
Sara pouted. "Do you want a drink?"   
  
Jean shook his head, finally uncrossing his arms. "No, thank you. I don't drink."   
  
"Soda, then? We'll pay!"   
  
"I don't drink soda either. Can I have a water?"   
  
Laila laughed, and then poured him another glass of water. "Of course you can!"

Jean chugged it, and gave a smile. He had a beauty mark near the edge of his left lip, that showed more when he smiled. His dimples were cute, and made him almost seem innocent. Almost seem like he hadn't gone through darker shit than Laila and Sara could imagine.   
  
"You're really cute, Jean." Laila grinned. "No hetero."   
  
"No hetero," chuckled Jean. "Wait, are you..." He chuckled more awkwardly this time. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I think you're strange or anything. I just have never known anyone who's joked about... stuff like that."   
  
Laila blinked and then frowned. "Were you allowed to date, in the Nest?"   
  
"No. Not that I'd want to, anyway."   
  
She nodded. "What about now?"   
  
Jean ran his thumb around the rim of the glass. "What  _ about _ now? No, I still don't want to."   
  
"What if you met someone nice?"   
  
"I don't know. I haven't yet." They seemed to be hinting something, but Jean didn't know what.   
  
Laila hummed, and then nodded. "Okay. How are you finding practice, then?"   
  
Jean was absolutely clueless when it came to subtle hints like that, so he just shrugged. "Much more relaxed."   
  
"That's really good, Jean. Jeremy is a _ great _ captain."   
  
Jean chuckled. "Much better than Riko."   
  
Over the course of their conversation, Jean got a lot more comfortable with the girls, feeling okay in making jokes about the Ravens and Riko and everything. It was pleasant, honestly. When Jeremy returned he pulled up a seat beside Jean again. "Sorry I took so long! How's everything over here?"   
  
Jean smiled easily, and Jeremy was shocked to note that the man had dimples.  _ Actual. Dimples. _ "It's good, Jeremy."   
  
Jeremy chewed on his lip, fingers rapping along the rim of the table. "Good. Good good. Are you three ready to go bowling now?"   
  
Jean bad never gone to something like bowling, let alone with friends. He slid off his chair and then pushed it back in. "I suppose. Can you teach me how to play?"   
  
"Teach you how to play?"   
  
Jean reddened slightly. "I've never played before."   
  
Jeremy's jaw dropped. "Never played before?"   
  
Laila snorted and Jean raised an eyebrow. "I've played Exy."   
  
Jeremy sometimes forgot how  _ drastically different _ their lives had been growing up. "So have I. Bowling is like, a friendship staple. Yeah, I'll show you!!"   
  
Jean smiled and then followed him to where the bowling lanes were. "Did you bowl a lot, as a child?"   
  
Jeremy grabbed a pair of bowling shoes his size, handing his own shoes to the man behind he counter. "As a child? Naw. But in high school, it's what we'd do for a friend's birthday, you get me?" At Jean's confusion, Jeremy grinned and leaned up. "You tell him your shoe size and he gives you bowling shoes in your size."   
  
Jean looked skeptical but slid his shoes off, telling the man his size and then taking the bowling shoes. Jeremy brought Jean down to a side lane, and brought down the covers that had been pulled over the gutters. The noise and crowdedness of the bowling alley was enough to set Jean's nerves off, but he tried to keep it together. "So I'm just gonna reset the pins..."   
  
Jean nodded and stuck close to him, watching his actions. "It's quite busy, no? Is bowling popular?"   
  
Jeremy let out a quaint chuckle. "Popular enough on a Friday night, yeah!"   
  
Jean looked around before wrinkling his brow. "Okay, so how does his work."   
  
It was adorable, how focused he was.   
  
"How does it work? Alright, pick up a ball, yeah?"   
  
Jean did as he said, awkwardly picking the bowling ball up. "... Okay?"   
  
"The three- your three fingers, put them in..." Jeremy demonstrated, lifting one of the balls with ease and showing which fingers went where.   
  
Jean chuckled and then did as he was shown. "Oh, that feels better."   
  
"There you go. Okay, this next part is hard to explain. Just..." Jeremy held the ball and got to a stance ready to throw. He tried swinging, before eventually letting go, the ball rolling down and knocking three quarters of the pins.   
  
Jean frowned slightly, and then hummed. "You just, throw it?"   
  
"Well, don't throw it, just let it go."   
  
Jean braced himself to go, but the nerves got the better of him. He froze up, and then looked frustrated. Jeremy laughed. "Okay. Here," he said, going over and holding Jean's arm, reaching from behind him. "Let me help guide it through..."   
  
Sara and Laila gave each other a look. Jean let go, and while it was pretty pathetic as scores went, he did manage to knock down a couple. 

"That's excellent! Try not to be too rough, though. Do you want me to cover up the gutters?"   
  
"Do you cover the gutters for yourself?"   
  
"Nah, but I've played a lot before!"   
  
"I don't need it, then." Jean huffed. "Can I try again?"   
  
"Of course. With me, or..."   
  
" _ Please. _ "   
  
Laila grinned. "The man said please, Jere."   


Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Why would I deny him, dude?" The smaller boy reached over again, centering his grip along Jean's wrist. "Don't throw it, roll it..."   
  
Jean nodded, and tried it again with Jeremy guiding him. He did a little better than the first time. "You're very good at this."   
  
He'd knocked three or four pins, at the edge, but it was enough to put a smile on both their faces. "I've got a lot of practice in... want to try on your own next time?"   
  
Sara and Laila's turns passed, as well as Jeremy's himself. They were far ahead of Jean in score already, but the boy was determined to do well. He walked up to the alley and then took his time, managing to get a decent score that time and then turned to smile excitedly at Jeremy. "I did it!"   
  
He looked so proud of himself, and Laila and Sara both congratulated him even if he didn't win. Jean had never been praised like that before,  or praised at all, so he preened under the attention.   
  
It was  _ so fucking adorable _ .   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
Jeremy had booked a hotel. It wasn't five stars, definitely- if it were, the faucet wouldn’t have been making that terrifying squeaking noise. The grainy noise of the shower shut off and Jeremy had rolled himself up in the blankets by the time Jean emerged. "You got so good at bowling, today, man!"   
  
Jean startled at the praise again, and then smiled a little, just a small tilt of his lips. "I did?"   
  
"Yeah, for a newbie. You learn stuff really easily, man.' Jeremy peeked back under the blankets, only his bare shoulders on display.   
  
Jean was blushing a little. "I learned to improve at things quickly, growing up."   
  
"At the Nest?'   
  
He nodded. "Riko didn't tolerate failure, so I learned to be the best at whatever I could."   
  
Jeremy pouted.  "Wanna talk about it?”   
  
"It's in the past, Jeremy. You're a much better captain. A better friend."   
  
The captain sighed. "You're gonna explode keeping it al in. Have you spoken to the counsellor I referred you to at least?"   
  
"I..." he reddened more. "Not exactly.   
  
"Jeez, Moreau..." Jeremy tugged himself out of the blankets. "Are you really never gonna talk about it?"   
  
Jean seemed to be stuck in place for a moment, before walking over to sit down on his computer chair. "I don't know how to begin, really,” he said as he scratched at his neck. He had grown light stubble, having forgone shaving the day before. "It's all I've ever known, I don't know how to imagine anything else."   
  
Jeremy brought his knees up to his chest. "I think I get what you mean. I guess it must be like, you finally had the boot that was crushing down onto you lifted off, but you've never like, known what that's like?"   
  
Jean hummed. "That's a good analogy. It's like I was drowning, and I forgot how to breathe again I think."

He fiddled with his phone, turning it over in his hands. "I wasn't a real person until I got here."   
  
"Well, I'm kind of a more positive person so I don't know if uh- if this would help but, the thing I would be thinking is, well, you get to start fresh. It'll be hard, sure, but maybe it'll be nice to just get a clean break." He shrugged. "Not many people get to get out of situations as bad as Edgar Allen."   
  
"I count my blessings every day. I don't know why the Foxes did what they did, but I'm so grateful to them."   
  
"Yeah, yeah. And I think that being able to start fresh will be... so nice. Like, you get to learn how to breathe all over again, if we continue that analogy. Then you have the opportunity to figure everything out anew!"   
  
While the words themselves didn't soothe Jean, the boy's positive tone and charming smile warmed him. He gave him a small smile. "You're really nice, Jeremy."   
  
Jeremy's hair was tousled right down the middle of his forehead, his cheeks and his bare chest reddening at the compliment. "Oh, naw."   
  
Jean raised an eyebrow. "No, really. You're an incredible captain, the team loves you." As always, he was painstakingly genuine. "And you're an excellent player. But I guess you've heard that a lot, so I want you to know that you're an excellent person and friend, too."   
  
"I  _ am _ ?" His brow furrowed.   
  
"Yes." Jean's brows were thick, and his face always looked quizzical even in his smallest expressions. He let out a slow breath. "The closest thing I had to friends before this were Riko and Kevin, so..."

"Kevin's nice!"   
  
"He is, but you don't understand what it was like." Jean shrugged gently. "We were all trying to survive there."   
  
Jeremy didn’t let his face drop at the dismissal. "I know I don't understand, but I want to try to. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to deal with that. Nobody should. I'm glad you're here, now."   
  
"Me too." Jean looked so far away just then, Jeremy desperately wanted to help him.   
  
Jeremy made grabby hands, him kneeling over. "Here, are you okay with affection maybe?"   
  
"What do you want to do?" Jean stiffened slightly and then looked guilty immediately.   
  
"I... would be okay with a hug, I think."   
  
"Hug, yeah, but if you don't-"

Jean wrapped his arms around the man, slightly awkward from nervousness but a hug nonetheless. Jeremy held him close, the bigger boy's body thick and difficult to wrap his hands around, but he did his best at giving the affection. "Jeremy?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"I think I really like it here."   
  
"You think?"   
  
Jean laughed and then pulled back. "Yeah, I really do."   
  
Jeremy put his hands on Jean's shoulders, rubbing them gently before lying back down in bed. "Alright, it's late..."   
  
Jean nodded and climbed up to his bed. "Practice tomorrow?"   
  
"If you're up for it!"   
  
"Of course. Goodnight, Jeremy."   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
_ Practice is cancelled today, enjoy your lie in! - Jeremy. _ _  
_   
Jean groaned and pushed his face into his arms, pulling his duvet up. "You didn't have to do that, Knox." He wasn't feeling well, but that didn't mean the man had to cancel the entire practice.   
  
Jeremy shrugged. "I didn't have to, true. But I wanted."   
  
"Why? It doesn't even matter, just leave me here."   
  
"Nope. You're the  _ best of the best _ , and if the best isn't on his game, then it's important to me. What's even going on?" Jeremy warily sat himself down at the side of the bed.   
  
"I don't..."    
  
Jean gritted his teeth. "I just need to push myself harder Jeremy, that's all."   
  
"Push yourself harder and you'll  _ snap _ ."   
  
"And what if I do? You have other backliners."   
  
"I don't have another Jean Moreau."   
  
"Why would you  _ want _ one!?"    
  
Jean had snapped, and then he sighed, dropping his head down onto his arms. "I'm sorry."   
  
Jeremy turned and crossed his legs, hands grabbing Jean's thigh and shaking him slightly. "Don't be like that, okay? Look at me..."   
  
"I just... how do you know what you want to do, Jeremy?"   
  
Jeremy furrowed his brow and chuckled in confusion. "Uh, what does that mean?"   
  
"With your life, how did you know what you wanted to do?"   
  
"How did I know... well..." Jeremy looked down at the covers. "I guess, my friends... some of my friends liked Exy, and I liked it too. And when they flaked on me, I would just play on my own, or with my dad. Usually on my own. And I just really loved it, y'know? I knew I'd always want to do it." He smiled softly. "When you like something, or someone, so much that it makes you want to get up in the morning, then you know. Well, that's how I knew anyhow."   
  
Jean paused, and then let out a slow breath, the blanket slipping down a little as he pushed himself up. "And what if it stopped being Exy? What then?"   
  
The words didn't click with Jeremy. "If it stopped being Exy?"   
  
"What if you weren't sure you wanted to play Exy anymore?" Jean looked nervous, and then he shook his head. "Nevermind, it's-"   
  
"Jean, are you talking about you?" Jeremy looked worried. "I- do you not… if I stopped liking Exy, I think... well, I'd try to find something else. I don't know how I would, though."   
  
Jean scratched at his arm. "Exy is all I've ever known, I... I don't know what I'd want to be without it. If I had never played it, if I'd never joined the Ravens... I have no idea what I'd want to do."   
  
Jeremy let the silence settle in the room before he reached his hand out for Jean to take. "If you want to take a break from the game... I'll be by your side to help you find what you want to do."   
  
Jean stiffened, and then took his hand gently. "I do not want to be ungrateful, you and the Trojans sacrificed a lot for me to join your team."   
  
"It wouldn't be ungrateful, okay? You're a person, you're not like, a tool or anything. You don't have to just play Exy."   
  
"I don't?" Jean sounded so unsure of himself, it was enough to make Jeremy's heart sink a little.   
  
"You don't. You can be you. When I said that, I meant it..."   
  
Jean digested that for a moment. "And if I decide I  _ don't _ want to play Exy?"   
  
"Then we'll work with that, alright? You'll still be part of our family."   
  
"... Why?"   
  
"Why? Well shucks, we won't just kick you to the curb like that!"   
  
Jean frowned at him. "But I'll be worthless to you."   
  
Jeremy shook his head. "Do I come off as that shallow to you?"   
  
"I... no." Jean sighed. "I don't know where to start, Jeremy. How do I go about finding my own personality?"   
  
Jeremy hummed. "Would you like me to tell you what I think of you? Maybe hearing somebody else will help you stop feeling like you have no aim or nothin."   
  
Jean blinked at him. "If you want? I never really think about myself like that."   
  
Jeremy thought for a minute. "Okay. I think you're mysterious. But I think you're sensitive. You're kind, you care about other people. You're a selfless person and even if you don't know how, you try your best to get on with people and take part."

Jean looked surprised, and then reddened just a little. "I didn't realise that anyone noticed me at all. What would that make me good at?"   
  
"Well, maybe... you could try... what's-it, community service, er... youth club... what's that called?" Jeremy scratched his chin. "Helping troubled youths and shit. I dunno, but you care, and you could relate with kids. I did it for a few weeks two Summers ago."   
  
Jean thought about it, and then nodded. "I... could do that, I think. I could try, anyway. I could go with you too if you'd like!"   
  
"That would be nice..." Jean smiled faintly. "I think I like my course, too."    
  
He was a Law student, with a minor in French now, which suited him much better than the  general business course the Moriyamas had chosen for him.   
  
"You do? That's great! I'm glad, man. And you can take a break from Exy, discover yourself..."   
  
Jean hugged himself. Jeremy Knox was like some messiah in his life. Ever generous, ever thoughtful, and ever filled to the brim with happiness. "Thank you, Jeremy."   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
The first week at the community centre was a breeze. Jean was good with kids- particularly the jaded ones. Being a jaded man himself, he found himself able to relate to them, sympathise with them. And it usually ended with him putting a smile on the kid's face, or vice versa. What he noticed when it came to Friday night, was how good Jeremy was with them, and how happy he was. Particularly the little ones.   
  
"Do you want them when you are older? Children, I mean."   
  
When Jeremy tilted his head up, something about how the sun hit the side of his face had Jean notice something else; how incredibly handsome his captain was. He shrugged. "Maybe! I like taking care of little kids, I like teens... so maybe. I dunno. How about you?"   
  
The feeling wasn't anything, really, he probably just thought it was nice seeing Jeremy so sympathetic.   
  
Jean put some pens back into the holder before setting it back in the shelf. "I... don't know. I never thought about it before, although I suppose I enjoy spending time with children."

"Would you want to adopt?"   
  
"Wouldn't I have to be married for that?"

Jeremy thought about it. "I'm not sure. Would you?"   
  
Jean nodded slowly, and then chuckled. "And I am not exactly a  _ 'catch' _ , Jeremy."   
  
Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Don't expect sympathy compliments from me, Moreau!"   
  
"I'm not, just simply stating a fact."

Jean shrugged and then went back to what he was doing. He looked a lot more casual than usual, dressed in jeans, and a faded t-shirt with a slogan Jeremy could barely read. It was a good look on him. 

A  _ very _ good look.   
  
Not that Jeremy was looking.   
  
He finished piling sheets and shoved his hands in his pockets, heading out to the lobby of the youth centre. "If you wanted to get married you could find someone, man."   
  
"I have a lot of...  _ baggage _ . I believe that's the term." Jean picked up his hoodie and pulled it on.   
  
"Some people don't mind baggage. A lot, don't!"   
  
"You think?"   
  
Jeremy nodded. "Sure. I know I wouldn't!"   
  
"You wouldn't?" Jean frowned. "What if it was really bad?"   
  
"Well heck, like I said, I wouldn't mind. So I'm sure there's others!"   
  
Jean nodded and then scratched at his neck. Jeremy wouldn’t mind. "I think I would like children, anyway."   
  
Jeremy pondered that. "You would? Would you want to adopt?"   
  
"I think so." Jean nodded slowly. "I don't... I don't think I'd want to marry a woman."   
  
"You could marry a  _ man _ , then," Jeremy said with a snort.   
  
Jean rolled his eyes. "Don't laugh at me."   
  
Jeremy pulled his sleeves further down when he pushed through the front doors of the youth center and headed out into the chilly air. "I'm not laughing- I'm not laughing!"   
  
"Sure, sure."  Jean sounded almost like he was joking, like he was happy. It sounded nice on him.   
  
Jeremy pulled his hood up, hiding his strawberry blonde curls. His cheeks and nose reddened in the cold, and he nudged Jean. "I would never."   
  
"Are you cold?" Jean tilted his head as he thought, and then he shrugged off his jacket. "Here, I'm too warm."   
  
"I've got a hoodie on, I should be alright-"   
  
Jean wrapped the soft coat around him, shaking his head. "There."   
  
The jacket was very warm, the inside lined with downy plush material, and it smelled like the shower gel that Jean used after practice. Jeremy paused before grabbing a hold on the inside and pulling it closed. "Mmm..."   
  
Jean chuckled. "Exactly."   
  
"So cozy," Jeremy mumbled.   
  
Jean smiled. "Are we walking back to the dorms now?"   
  
"We could get takeout..."   
  
Jean nodded and then took out his wallet. "You pick, I pay?"    
  
Jean usually let Jeremy pick what they eat, out of genuine inexperience, but he always seemed to enjoy what Jeremy picked anyway.   
  
" _ You _ pick, I pay," corrected Jeremy.   
  
Jean shot him an unimpressed look. "Jeremy."   
  
"Jean."

"Pick, please."   
  
"So I pick,  _ and _ I pay? Sounds selfish of me."   
  
Jean groaned. "Just let me pay, Jeremy. Stop being difficult."   
  
"Fine."

Jeremy ordered, and shoved his hands into the other boy's coat. Jean paid, and then went to wait beside him. "Thank you."   
  
Jeremy shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat, eh?"   
  
Jean chuckled softly. "Yeah."   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
Jeremy was always a burst of energy, even early in the morning before practice. It was as horrifically endearing as it was annoying. Still, it was a welcome sight since he hadn't been home the previous night.   
  
"Where were you last night, o captain my captain?" Laila grinned and swung an arm around his neck.   
  
Jeremy chuckled and went salmon pink. "Oh, nowhere in particular... I just visited a friend over at the Foxhole Court."   
  
Laila raised an eyebrow. "Oh? They didn't mug you, did they?"    
  
Jean rolled his eyes, and then tilted his head. "How is Kevin?"   
  
Jeremy's blush only deepened at the mention of his name. "Oh, it was him I went to see," he said as if he knew any other Fox on a personal level. "And I stayed the night at his. And... I think we might be..."   
  
"Holy shit, did you  _ fuck _ ?" Alvarez grinned and stood up. "Should we be worried about your innocence?"   
  
Jeremy choked on air. "We didn't fuck-!"   
  
"But you did do something!"   
  
"We're dating! And I guess I'm coming out as bi, now. Thanks for ruining it," he huffed.   
  
Laila pouted and then kissed him on the cheek. "Sorry, Cap. Did you come here all the way from Fox Tower?"   
  
He beamed. "Yeah, I'm exhausted, but I said I'd be here this morning, so... I'm proud to be here, and bi, and... yeah!" He seemed flustered.   
  
The team congratulated him, and so did Jean, though he felt a little less happy for the man than he probably should have been. It was weird to think of Jeremy dating anyone, much less... yeah. Would they still be sharing a room? A bed? Maybe Jeremy would kick him out. Maybe Jeremy would have Kevin over.   
  
That would be awkward. Jean and Kevin in the same room again?   
Things wouldn't be the same, now.   
  
Jean reasoned this was why he felt his heart curl up into itself.   
  
He used starting his training regime as an excuse to avoid talking to Jeremy about it. He'd burn that bridge when he came to it. Maybe Jeremy wouldn't bring him over, and he could just ignore the whole thing. Maybe he could ignore the text from Kevin, simmering in his inbox. The  **_hey_ ** . The loaded message was starting to get stale after a day or so, and Jean didn't know how to reply yet. Maybe if he just ignored it, Kevin would give up. He'd be busy with Jeremy, anyway. He frowned to himself. He didn't know why it was bothering him so much, really.   
_  
_ **_you okay man? It's been a while_ ** _  
_   
Another message from Kevin Day. He gritted his teeth, and then slowly typed out a response.    
_  
_ **_I am fine, training is going well._ ** **  
** **  
** **_good!! And how's it been w/ the trojans?_ ** **  
** **_  
_ ** **_Good. Jeremy and the rest of them have been very welcoming to me._ ** He huffed, and then started typing again.  **_And the Foxes? Renee told me that you qualified for the finals._ **   
_  
_ **_we did yeah! I'm so glad you feel welcomed, the foxes welcomed me just like that too!!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_It's been a day or two but I'm sure you've heard that me and Jeremy are together?_ ** _  
_   
There it was.   
_  
_ **_Yeah, I heard. I'm happy for you both._ ** **_  
_ ** **  
** **_Thank you!_ ** _  
_   
Kevin could be so annoying, sometimes. He hadn't even said anything wrong and he managed to put Jean in a terrible mood. He huffed and put his phone away. Maybe a run would clear his head. He didn't know why he was in such a bad mood lately, he didn't think that anything had happened to trigger it. He found himself constantly drifting back to thoughts about texting Kevin. Maybe he just felt protective. Jeremy was his best friend- it was natural to feel protective of him!   
  
That was probably it. Jean was just being protective, it made sense. He tried his best not to let that show, especially when he was hanging out with Jeremy. 

Jeremy lazed across the couch one tired afternoon, his legs draped over the arm of it. His teal shirt rode up his stomach, showing off his light bruises from playing and the rim of his boxers. 

Jean wasn't staring.   
_  
_ _ He wasn't.  _   
  
And he wasn't jealous that Jeremy was texting Kevin right now. It was probably just annoyance, that Jeremy was ignoring him. It had nothing to do with how Kevin always got everything he wanted, nothing at all. Jeremy grinned at something Kevin must've said, and his scratched his stomach, making his shirt rise just that bit further.   
  
He was  _ so- _   
  
Jean shook his head.   
  
No, he  _ wasn't. _   
  
Calvins suited him, framing his square hips well. Jean furrowed his brow.   
  
No, they  _ didn't. _   
  
He was being stupid. He pulled out his own phone, scrolling through the few apps that he had on it aimlessly. It was better than staring at Jeremy and thinking about-   
  
He frowned, and then shook his head. He wasn't thinking about anything. Jeremy yawned. "J, what time is it?"   
  
"After midnight."   
  
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "What? For real?" He checked his phone and giggled. "Oh, I'm an idiot. Cool. What time do we have to be up tomorrow?"   
  
Jean felt himself get a little frustrated. Jeremy was the captain, he shouldn't be distracted so easily. He organised when practice was on, he should know. "Isn't that your call, captain?"   
  
Jeremy snorted as he got up and marched around the room; his leg had gone stiff. "Yeah-ow- but I already forgot-ow- what time I told the others."   
  
"Practice starts at 6am, Jeremy." Jean didn't know why he was so annoyed, it wasn't a big deal. "Every day."   
  
"Right, right."

Jeremy pulled off his shirt. Jean noticed the freckles that dotted down his back, the line of hair that dipped from his navel, every last aspect of-   
  
_ Nope, nope, he wasn't staring. _ _  
_   
"I'm forgetful, Jean, you know that!"   
  
"I suppose." Jean tore his eyes away from Jeremy's naked torso.   
  
Jeremy chuckled, rolling his shoulders as he kicked off his shorts. "You coming to bed?"   
  
Jean gritted his teeth, before mechanically relaxing his jaw and starting to get dressed. "Of course."   
  
Jeremy's cobalt blue Calvins hugged his ass- they wrapped around his square hips evenly-  _ perfectly _ \- no, Jean didn't notice.

Okay, so maybe Jean noticed. Maybe he noticed just a little.   
  
He gave himself a couple of seconds to watch Jeremy's ass as the man bent over to pick up his discarded shorts, before closing his eyes. It was nothing, just some pent up frustration. Jeremy hopped into bed, stretching himself out.   
  
Nothing, nothing, nothing. Pent up from  _ where?  _ _  
_   
Nope, it was  _ nothing. _   
  
Okay, it was a  _ little more  _ than nothing, and Jean reddened slightly.   
  
He needed to use the bathroom.  _ Now. _ He couldn't go to bed like this. Not with a...   
  
He swallowed and then shook his head. It would go away, he couldn't use the bathroom like this with Jeremy sleeping just a few feet away. It was wrong. All of it was. Jeremy yawned again, turning over on his side, clutching a pillow tightly.   
  
"Goodnight, Jeremy."    
  
He was Kevin's boyfriend.  _ He was Kevin's boyfriend. _   
  
Jeremy didn't mention that Jean still hadn't gone to bed yet, only cuddling his pillow closely. Probably thinking about Kevin. Jean groaned slightly and then turned to get changed, hiding his little problem from the man. He needed to just stop thinking about it. 

Jeremy was always okay to sleep with the lights on, so it was up to Jean to switch them off when he was ready. He finished getting ready, and then went to switch off the lights. It would be gone by morning. It would have to be gone by morning. "Night," mumbled Jeremy.   
  
Jean climbed into the bed, covering himself with the blankets and shutting his eyes tight.

  
* * * * * * * *   
  
Jeremy hummed. "Sorry, Jean, I'm busy this afternoon… I've got plans with Kevin."   
  
Jean was disappointed, but not surprised. Before he could stop himself, he huffed. "You've always got plans with Kevin, don't worry about it."   
  
Jeremy frowned. He crossed his arms. He was wearing his grey sweater, the one that was tight around his arms. Jean had noticed, of course. "I don't always-"   
  
"Yeah, you do." Jean shrugged. "It's natural, I suppose."   
  
"You're angry at me."   
  
"I'm  _ not _ angry."   
  
"You sound angry." Jeremy's face softened. "You're getting mad at me."   
  
Jean grimaced. "I don't mean to be. I just-" _ Think I like you. _ "Miss hanging out with you. That's all."   
  
Jeremy nodded. "Right, right. I miss hanging out with you too. You can hang out with us, if you want!"   
  
"I'd rather not." Jean winced at how harsh that sounded. "I haven't spent time with Kevin since Riko was alive, and we were in Evermore."   
  
Jeremy paled. "Shit, sorry. Okay, then I'll see you this evening?"   
  
"Yes." Jean turned to go. "Have fun with Kevin."   
  
Jeremy raised his hand for a high five. Jean paused, before high fiving him gently. Jeremy stuck his tongue out, just a little bit, before letting him go. As Jean left, and he returned to the room, he felt that... feeling again. 

Not the jealousy. The  _ other _ ...   
  
He needed to go this time, it was getting ridiculous.   
  
He retreated to their bedroom, locking himself into the bathroom. He needed to get a grip on himself, both literally and figuratively.   
  
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
**_Do you like tacos?_ **   
  
Jean glanced away from the essay he was working on to his phone when he saw the message pop up on his screen. He furrowed his brow, and reached for it.   
  
**_Jeremy? I've never had one. Why?_ ** Jeremy was supposed to be with Kevin, and he didn't usually text while he was.  **_Are you okay?_ **   
  
**_Do you want to try?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I don't mind. Where are you, Jeremy?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm at Taco Bell_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Obviously_ ** **_  
_ **   
Jean frowned, and then dialed Jeremy's number, putting his shoes on.   
  
_ Click. _   
  
"Yeah, this is Jeremy Knox."   
  
"Jeremy?"

  
"Yeah. This is Jeremy. Knox.”   
  
Jean frowned and scratched his neck. "Are you okay?"   
  
"What kind of tacos do you wanna try?"  _ He was dodging. _ "I'm getting takeaway."   
  
Jean was already leaving. "I'm on my way to you, just get whatever you're having for me."   
  
"No, I'm getting takeaway. I'll be home soon."   
  
Jeremy sighed. "Don't come here. I'll be back soon."   
  
"Are you okay?" Jean asked for the third time. "Why isn't Kevin with you?"   
  
"We broke up."   
  
_ That didn't last long. _   
  
Jean pinched himself for that one.

Even worse, he felt a surge of relief as the tension in his chest, the tension that had been there for weeks, finally subsided.  "Do you need me to come and get you?"   
  
"I'm not going on a fucking bender, I'm in the car at a fucking Taco Bell. What part of that don't you understand? I'm safe."   
  
"I'm just worried about you J-"   
  
"I'll be back in twenty. See you soon, okay?"   
  
_ Beep. _   
  
Jean was going to fucking  _ kill _ Kevin.   
  
True to his word, Jeremy was home in about twenty minutes, with a paper takeaway bag from Taco Bell. His eyes weren't red, nor did he look upset. Just blank. Jean helped him to set out the food, getting them plates and cutlery.  "It smells delicious, Jeremy."   
  
"It's just a taco," said Jeremy with a chuckle. "But I... I hope you like it. Give it a go?"   
  
It was a regular, classic filled taco. Jeremy thought that would be the best for Jean's first time. Everybody loves tacos. Jean looked sceptical, and took a bite, looking surprised as it crunched loudly. He looked mildly pleased at the taste, though. "Mm, this is good."   
  
Jeremy grinned. "I'm glad."  He took a bite of his own, and sighed. "I- _ havench _ had  _ chis _ in  _ cho _ -long-" he said, mid eating.   
  
Jean laughed, softly. "Most people swallow, before they speak, Jer."   
  
Jeremy swallowed, then bit his lip. "I said I haven't had this in so long!"   
  
Jean nodded. "It's good, we weren't allowed any fast food in Evermore."   
  
"No McDonald's?"   
  
"No." Jean shrugged. "I'd never had it, so I didn't miss it."   
  
"You know, in France, they call a Big Mac a  _ royale with cheese. _ " Jean didn’t get the reference, and Jeremy just looked at him sheepishly. "...I'll get you McDonald's sometime."   
  
"I'd like that." Jean smiled softly, before biting the bullet. "So, Kevin?"   
  
"Mutual," said Jeremy. "We're... we were better as friends."   
_  
_ _ Thank fucking God. _ Jean ignored himself. "I'm sorry, Jeremy. I know you were... happy."   
  
"Yeah. We uh, we were." Jeremy groaned. "I was. I think I'm gonna take a shower, after this."   
  
"And then we can spend time together, if you'd like?"   
  
"I'd like that." Jeremy held out his hand over the table for Jean to take.   
  
Jean paused, before taking his hand gently. It didn't mean anything.  _ Friends held hands. _ Jeremy blushed. Just a slight pink.   
  
_ Friends friends friends friends friends _ _  
_   
Jean couldn't keep his eyes off him as he stripped for the shower. Just  _ friends. _ Friends did that, all the time! The hiss of the shower, the hum of Jeremy's voice. He took out his phone, scrolling down his contacts until he found Laila's. 

**_I think I have a problem._ ** **_  
_ **   
Less than  a minute later;  **_You're an alcoholic? Does Jeremy know??_ ** **_  
_ **   
**_Not that, shut up._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Ok then what?_ ** **_  
_ **   
Jean typed it out, and then deleted it. Retyped it. "Fuck." 

**_I think I like Jeremy._ ** **_  
_ **   
**_I mean you'd want to considering you room with him!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_You know what I mean, Laila._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Wait, what?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_WAIT_ ** **_  
_ ** **_WHAT_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I knew it!!!!!!!!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_How did you know it? I didn't even know it!_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I just did, ok?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_He's dating Kevin though... awkwarddd_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_They broke up._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Jeremy is in the shower, he came back and told me._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Wow_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And you just realised that you have a crush on him?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Don't make fun of me._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Im not_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_What do I do?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Idk. Lets talk in person about it tomorrow?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Yes please._ **   
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
One of the things that Jean knew about Jeremy was that when he was having a bad day, rare as they were, he would go to the gym. Luckily, the breakup had coincided with a weekend, and thus had aligned with their longer squad gym session. They got started as usual, with some jogging, some stretching, before they got started on the weights. Jean usually stayed on his own, focusing on nothing but what he was doing. 

He was finding that hard to do with Jeremy throwing himself into his training, though. Jeremy huffed as he lowered himself down again, keeping his balance as he did with every squat of his. He heaved and lifted himself back up, keeping his back straight. After the half an hour, the front of his shirt had a line of sweat dripping down it, having it stick to his abs. Jean couldn't stop staring. His eyes were drawn to the man's face, his chest, his abs...  _ his... _   
  
He reddened and then swallowed, going back to his own lifting, trying and failing miserably to keep his eyes away. When Jeremy bent, his shirt rode halfway up his back, his shorts ducked. And then he was back up. He went over to the weights, screwing them tightly on each side of the bar.   
  
God, Jean wished Jeremy was  _ screwing- _   
  
Jeremy headed to the mirror as he heaved it onto his shoulders. Jean stared openly, feeling his boxers tightening slightly. Thank fuck for compression gear. 

His face was red, and he followed the train of sweat on Jeremy's back, down to the waistband of his underwear. Gaze lingering in that mirror for maybe too long, Jean noticed how Jeremy hadn't shaved. He noted how manly the caramel five o'clock shadow looked- how handsome it looked along his jaw. Jeremy's shirt must have been a size too small. Oh, how it absolutely gripped onto the boy's muscles. Jean bit his lip, hard, and he heard a giggle from beside him. "Take a picture, J, it'll last longer."   
  
"Take a-" Jean huffed, reddening even more. "Taking a picture is hardly appropriate!"   
  
"Neither is staring at our captain's ass for the past half an hour!" Laila grinned.   
  
"I am  _ not... _ "   
  
Jeremy let the weights drop, and he grunted, cracking his neck.  _ Fuck. _ "I am not going to survive this Laila."   
  
"Why not?" She teased, and then sat down beside him, taking a drink of water. "Too busy imagining Jeremy fucking-"   
  
"Shut! Up!"   
  
Laila giggled. "It's really cute, J." Jeremy turned to them, and grinned. He lifted the front of his already sweat soaked shirt to wipe his face, exposing himself again. Jean gulped. Laila snorted, and then patted Jean on the back. "It was nice knowin' ya." Then, she turned to Jeremy. "Your shirt is fucking gross, cap, you should probably just take it off."   
  
Jeremy pouted. "You think?"   
  
She nodded, and then smirked. "Yeah, it's all sweaty."   
  
Jeremy shrugged and pulled off his shirt. His hair tousled as a result, red tips going in all directions. "Yeah, you're right. I'll shower after anyway!"   
  
Jean bit his lip hard enough to almost draw blood.   
  
He whined, softly, and Laila cackled quietly. "You're welcome!"   
  
Jean shook his head. "I need to get out of here..."   
  
But how could he leave when Jeremy hopped on the rowing machine, when he rolled his hips back and forth, when he groaned and moaned and got his frustration out on it. Jean really had to leave, or he was probably going to cry. He made his way to the locker room, ending his session early. Laila followed him soon after, leaning against the doorframe and laughing. "Are you okay?"   
  
Jean looked back. "What? Yes. Leave me alone."   
  
"Hey, it's not my fault you're in love with Knox." She grinned. "It's really cute, how drooly you get over him."   
  
He scoffed. "I'm not drooly!!"   
  
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. You totally weren't having a heart attack because he was all sweaty and half naked."   
  
"I have seen him sweaty and half naked before," grumbles Jean, "I wasn't... it's not like...'   
  
"Look, I regret telling you anything."   
  
Laila winked at him. "Love you too, best friend. You should tell him, by the way."   
  
"Ooh, who's telling who what?" Jeremy was a few feet behind Jean, wiping his sweaty hands off of his trackies. 

Laila covered her mouth, and Jean went bright red. "Nothing, cap!" She smiled brightly at him. "Just gossiping, you know."   
  
"Gossip?'   
  
"Nothing concerning  _ you _ ," snapped Jean, a little suspiciously.   
  
Jeremy furrowed his brow. "Wait. _ Is  _ it something concerning me?!"

Laila hummed, pretty much confirming it before smiling. "I'll leave you two to get changed!"   
  
Jean hugged himself. "No, it wasn't."   
  
Jeremy groaned. "Okay, I don't really care any-"   
  
"Okay, it  _ was _ ." Jean gulped, and then crossed his arms. "It was. It wasn't bad though, it was- it was just good things!" He whined. "Can we talk a little more... privately?”   
  
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "More privately than an empty locker room?"   
  
"Yeah.”   
  
Jeremy nodded slowly. "Uh, we can go into the office?"   
  
Jean scratched his neck. "Yeah, please, sir."   
  
Jeremy chuckled, and then ran a hand through his hair, highlighting the fact that he still wasn't wearing a shirt. "You don't have to call me sir."   
  
"I know, I know," said Jean as they went down to the office. Jeremy closed the blinds and leaned against the door. Jean sighed. "Okay, I know- I know it's soon after you and... and him broke up, I'm sorry in advance..."   
  
Jeremy looked confused. "What does this have to do with Kevin?"   
  
"Jeremy..." Jean put his face in his hands. "Look, I made a mistake..."   
  
"I'm sure that we can fix it, whatever it is!"   
  
"I don't think we can!"   
  
Jeremy sat down on the desk, stretching his back out. "What is it?"   
  
"I... I like... someone."   
  
Jeremy blinked, before smiling brightly. "You do? That's... that's great Jean!"   
  
"Okay," said Jean. "Okay. And it's you. Is that still  _ great? _ "   
  
Jeremy blinked, and then his mouth fell open, before he shut it again. "Me?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
Jean as read as a fucking beetroot at this point. "You..." Jeremy’s cheeks match. "You like me."   
  
"I- yes."   
  
Jeremy fluffed up his hair, looking amazing. "Why?"   
  
"I just do." _ Don't make me say why, don't make me say why... _   
  
"Jean." Jeremy pouted.   
  
"You're nice to me. Fuck that, you are incredibly kind to me. You take care of me, you get close to me. Plus, you're beautiful. The most handsome, most cute, most... most... most sexy person I know."   
  
Jeremy went bright red. "You're being serious about this?"   
  
"Don't make me say 'yes' again."   
  
"Just once more, I promise." Jeremy got up, and walked over to where Jean was. He was so much shorter than the man, it was quite endearing. He bit his lip, blushing deeper before tilting his head up. "Can I?"   
  
Jean was at a loss for words, which wasn't exactly the best timing. He stuttered, and babbled, until just settling on a simple nod.   
  
Jeremy grinned, brightly, and then leaned up to kiss him firmly on the mouth.   
  
Jean didn't kiss back, at first. He hadn't even had one before. But his hands found Jeremy's shoulders, and he leaned in, and soon he was kissing back with his pouty own chapped lips.   
  
Jeremy pulled back much too soon, looking as dazed as Jean felt. "Huh."   
  
"Huh?!"   
  
Jeremy went red. "Shush! I wasn't expecting any of this."   
  
"Sorry. I'm sorry, cap..."   
  
Jeremy whined, and then shook his head. "No, I... I really like it, I just wasn't expecting it!"   
  
Jean looked to his feet. "Okay."   
  
"Are... are you okay?" Jeremy sounded so worried.   
  
"Yes. Yes, I'm good. I'm just..."  _ Scared. _   
  
Jeremy placed a hand on his shoulder, brushing against his neck. "It's okay, Jean. You're okay, you're here now."    
  
It was the same thing Jeremy always said, when Jean needed help.   
  
"Let's go home, yeah?"   
  
"I'd love that."   
  
Jeremy laughed, and then brought them back to the changing room, getting ready to go. Before Jean knew it, they were in the car. He was silent, for a while. Jeremy actually kissed him back. He didn't reject him. He felt guilt sink through his body. He had been jealous, and badly so. 

"Jean? Are you alright?" Jeremy was driving, his eyes on the road but he was clearly paying attention to him.

Jean chewed on his lip as they passed streetlights, passed people, turned the corner and approached the apartment. "You know... you and Kevin..."   
  
"... Yes?"   
  
Jeremy looked over at him.   
  
"Look, I feel bad about... I was jealous."   
  
The smaller boy startled, a little. "You were?"   
  
"Yes. I am sorry if I was... harsh, at times."   
  
Jeremy blushed and then chuckled. "I thought you were mad at me..."   
  
Jean put his hand on his lap, scratching it nervously. "I didn't mean to seem..."   
  
"It's okay, now." Jeremy smiled softly. "You're so sweet, Jean."   
  
The car eventually came to a halt, and went silent. Jeremy reached for the door handle, and Jean reached for the boy's hand. "Jeremy?" His voice trembled, just slightly.   
  
Jeremy stopped, turned to face him. "Yeah?"   
  
"What now?"   
  
Jeremy smiled, breathtaking as always. "What do you want?"   
  
Jean's hair- sweaty, slicked to the side- curled a little above his brow. He sniffed slightly, and his lips curled in the most genuine smile Jeremy had ever seen on him. The number 3 that used to be so prominent under his eyes was faded, barely ever visible, but as a result of the surgery the dim light of street lamps lit his cheek in a sparkly grey.   
  
Jeremy couldn't help himself, leaning forward to brush his lips on the man's cheekbone. 

"I want this," mumbled Jean.   
  
Jeremy smiled. "Kiss me, then."   
  
"I'm not too good..."

Jeremy shook his head. " _ Kiss me _ , Jean."   
  
Jean leaned in and pressed cold lips against warm. Jeremy sighed into it, kissing him slowly. He didn't want to overwhelm the man. He wanted to keep him close, make him feel safe, and most of all, make him feel happy. He loved him, after all, and he couldn’t be any happier knowing that Jean loved him back.


End file.
